Friday, December 11, 2020

GJ Day 13: Disappointment

Yeah, this one is a bit weird.  

We never know what the future has in store for us, and we don't know if it will good for us or bad for us. Nor do we know how the choices we make will affect those outcomes.  And sometimes, we just don't get what we want in life.

but if we try real hard, we might find, we get what we need.  

I've been disappointed by outcomes in the past.  Not getting into the school I wanted to, not getting a job that I desired; we've all been there, right?  But looking back, maybe some of those outcomes were actually beneficial.  If I had gone to my goal school, I would not have met the woman that is now my wife.  If I had been offered a job I wanted, a better opportunity would not have come to me a year later, which propelled my career.

Sure, you say, that's all well and good to say now, but that goal school could have led to a better career than you have, and maybe a better life than you have.  And that's true.  It could just as easily have led to worse outcomes, though.  Maybe I wouldn't have had what it took to thrive at that school, and could have had to transfer.  Maybe I would have met and married differently, and now be divorced, or unhappy, or struggling to keep work and family aligned.

I don't look back with regret at disappointments though, ever since my wife made a comment when we were struggling with one of our sons.  When I commented that I wished his behavior was different, she calmly said that to wish that was to wish we had someone else's child rather than ours.  That was profound to me; it also said that to wish some facet of our past was different is to wish that we were not the people we are - to wish that we were someone else.  Maybe some people think that way, but I don't.  

I am who I am, and so are you; disappointments and all.

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