Sunday, January 18, 2015

Close is over - let's get this started.

My rough period at work ended on Friday (sure, not until 8:00 p.m. on Friday due to as last-minute assignment), so my big two week quarter close is over.  I returned home Friday night to see my family for more than 5 minutes for the first time in two weeks.

Re-entry after these work periods is normally not easy.  I get home, and I'm still on a work footing, so still a bit stressed, and I've missed two weeks of "what's going on" around the house, including how daily routines may have changed.  In addition, I'm also often coming off a period of little to no exercise, and two weeks of food issues.  I'll normally gain a few pounds during these times, adding to my stress levels and it takes a few days to reorient myself.

This time wasn't much different.  I have gained a few pounds (my official weigh in at 197 pounds this week, but I know that I hit 200 during the week), my exercise was limited to about 1 mile per day to maintain my streak, and I was not able to keep in touch with my family as much as I would have liked to. 

The only thing different this time is that I left my stress in the office.  Which is good, 'cause it got kinda bad a few days ago, causing a bit of a rift with my boss (nothing that won't heal).  And as a result, my re-entry was much smoother, and I was able to take it easy this weekend and not stress out about things as much.  I even got in a few exercise sessions as well as a 'date night' with my wife, which I really needed.  I had to do some work, but was able to squeeze that in during quiet times. 

So now I'm firmly in "new new year's" , with a plan to get back into daily exercise routines, even doubles on some days, and to renew my relationship.  I'm going to try to Burn 20 pounds this year, in the hopes that I can drop at least 10.  I'm back to working on my 2015 goals, focusing on what I want to do in January - one month at a time.

So this week - Weight at 197.5 pounds, long run this week at 5 miles (on the treadmill thanks to REALLY perilous ice this morning - my wife went out running early and regretted it with all of the cars spinning and sliding on the roads today).  I'm behind on some of my objectives, but this week at work will be more manageable than the last 4 (5?, 6?).  My immediate objective: brave the cold and get outside for most of my runs this week.  This starts tomorrow.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

January 1st ..... the second time

So it's been a truly awful couple of weeks.  That's awful by my standards, which for some people would really just be par for the course.  It was all due to work, of course, and the nasty side effects that excessive work brings.

What do I mean by excessive?  Last week (Monday through Sunday), I worked 104 hours.  I'm in finance, and this was due to our end-of-year accounting, so I wasn't surprised by the need for extra overtime.  This is my 22nd January in the company, and the first month of the year is always intense.  This was exceptional, though, as I am one person short in my department, and we had to cover the gaps, and deal with some new managers at the same time. 

But the fact that I was working so much wasn't the problem.  It's the other stuff that disrupts me.  First, working that many hours, plus commuting and the occasional shower, I wasn't sleeping enough.  I got about 4-6 hours a night, when I have learned that I really need 7.  Second, because of scheduled meetings and not enough sleep, I wasn't exercising much.  I was in recovery for a few days from my race, so this wasn't a big deal until the last few days.

Even that would have been tolerable, though, but the reality is that when I am sleep-deprived, I make bad decisions (so do you, by the way).  Specifically, I make bad decisions about food and drink.  I think that I perceive extra (or unhealthy) foods as energy compensation for the lack of sleep, but I also think it's just that my discipline system is the first to fatigue, and I'm more prone to 'giving in'.  Both are probably true, but whatever the cause, I wind up eating worse than I should and drinking too little water and too much soda for the caffeine content (which actually, I didn't do too badly this month). 

And the result is chilling.  This morning, I weighed in at 198 pounds - WAY too close to my 200 lb. limit, and a 'red alert' that I need to obey.  I had been hoping to be at about 192 by now, but my butt got kicked again.  What's worse is that I had a dream I'd been dreading - where I wake up and go to wash up, but notice my hands are swollen.  When I look in the mirror, I realize that I've gained back all the weight I had lost, and I was back to 270 lbs, where I haven't been for nearly 15 years.  I'm actually surprised I haven't had that dream before, but having it now was terrible for me.  I woke up (really this time) with such a sense of disappointment and loss; feelings that I do not want to experience in reality.

Add to that the fact that I've been working so much, I haven't seen my family for over a week.  Sure, I've been coming home to sleep, but I get home after everyone's in bed, and I leave for the office before they are awake.  Post-it notes have taken the place of hugs and dinnertime conversations.  I really miss those dinners.

So now it's time to re-jump start.  Both my wife and I are going to declare January 15th New New Year's day.  Our resolutions didn't start two weeks ago - no!  they're just starting now.  It's something we've done before (after a bad yearend cycle) and that actually worked.  Today I cleaned out my office - no more unhealthy food there, and tomorrow morning, I've blocked time on my calendar for a longer run than the 1-milers I've been doing to maintain my streak.  I will re-start my fitness cycle (pushups, crunches, and pullups) and get back onto my path down to 190 lbs or lower by July 1st, although I know I can do it faster.  I'm going to start calling it a day much earlier at work, so I can see my wife and kids in the daylight.  We're going to work together (as we often do) and encourage each other through the hard times ahead, but we'll feel better on April 15th than we do on January 15th.  Tomorrow, I will turn over that new leaf that is just waiting for me.

That is, after I get some sleep.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Heppy New Year (3 days late)

So it's January 4th, and it's already been a fairly interesting year (by my standards).  Yesterday, I ran a 50K race about an hour away from home, which is the first time I've run that distance (or intentionally run anythng longer than a marathon).  It was a good bit of a struggle, with lots of walking in the last third of the race, but I finished it in 5:46:30, so respectable, but not remarkable.

It would have been better had I actually trained for it.  I had run a marathon about eight weeks ago, setting a PR of 4:11:20 in the process despite being a few weeks short on my training.  After that, I took a few light weeks, worked up to long runs of 15 miles, and ran 3 long runs before this race.  That's less than I should have had, but doing this race was a late decision - I only decided to do this about three weeks ago, and it really wasn't until the week before that I really committed.   So no 20-milers, no stretch long runs of 24, 25, 27 miles, bur just a silly, naive intention that if I could run a marathon, I could run a 50K. I was right, and I expect I'll be right again some time.  They run this race each year, and I came in 21st out of 22 finishers, so I have lots of ways to improve.  And hey, there's a first time for everything, which implies a second time, I hope.

After the race (a day after, technically), my kids asked what we were having for dinner, and she say we were going out to eat (a rarity) to a steakhouse (a REAL rarity!).  It turns out she was taking me out to celebrate the race, which was a really nice gesture, and great to do on the day before our real 2015 push starts (on diet and exercise fronts). 

Sadly, though, much of my extended family is suffering on the heath front.  My father-in-law is in the hospital, my niece and grand-nephew are both sick with stomach bugs, and another family member broke his leg at work.  It's not good when bad stuff happens, but it's all happening a few steps removed from me, and my immediate family is doing okay, so I'll just count my blessings.

I've now got a  few focus areas for 2015: Fitness (losing a little bit of weight, maybe?), Gratitude (showing and feeling it more), Focus (on whatever I am doing - stopping the multitasking) and Family - getting in the time while I still have it with my boys.  The first four days were not full of progress against my goals, but I'm okay with that.  Tomorrow is Monday, the classic day for new starts, and my wife and I are looking for ways to help each other out.  We'll see in a week if our passion for our goals is greater or gone.  (I'm hoping the former).

Today's weight: 193.2 (but that's because I raced yesterday.  I'm really about 195.5 lbs)