Farewell to April (and good riddance?)

April was a tough month. 

I feel like I got none of my goals accomplished, personal or professional, and almost all I did was work and work-related.  Anything else was shunted to the side, as we implemented new processes and new guidelines into our operating units.  

This happens sometimes - usually once about every 6-9 months, but normally only for a couple of weeks.  This time has been a bit more intense, and the 60-70 hour weeks have been longer and more frequent. 

It's not great timing.  I have a major presentation due in three weeks, a project which is foundering a bit and needs some TLC.  I'm also supposed to start training for an athletic event in late summer, and my sons are both getting more active as the school year comes to an end.  Plus, I'm the race director for a 5K in June that so far, only has 4 runners (which is the same as the last two years, but my emotional brain doesn't process that).

Fortunately, a friend of mine had pointed out to me a few years ago that 'overwhelmed is a choice', and I take that in two ways.  First, you can't get overwhelmed if you don't overcommit to things.  So being prudent about what you take on as a mission is really important.  More directly, though, it means that the feeling of having too much on your plate can cause stress, but by prioritizing, delegating, and focusing, you can get through the hard times. 

So that's what I'm doing.  I've taken the weekend to line up my priorities of May, got myself organized and now I'm going through my work to find the items that my staff can handle, or that doesn't need to be done immediately, and can be ignored or deferred.   If I can do that, and strike a better balance of personal time and work time this month, I'll get to June 1st rested, ready, and prepared for an even bigger month.

Insights from reflection

The last six weeks have taught me a lot about myself.  Not that anything tragic or disturbing has happened; rather, I've taken the last several weeks to do some introspection (it was Lent, so I was encouraged to do that).

Some insights:

1. I actually do have some introvert characteristics (I'm an extrovert, really).  After being with other people (lots of other people) for 12 days straight, I needed more alone time than I usually get.  I took that time this month, and it was just the 'decompression' that I needed.
2. Starting projects on the first of the month often leads to, well, failure.  The nature of my job requires me to be at my best at work during day 4-10 of each month, so starting new projects on the 1st of the month doesn't lead to lasting change.  I will change, and start new projects on the 15th, to give new habits time to form.
3. Sleep is more important than I give it credit for.  I make worse decisions (not bad, just less good) when I am tired and / or fatigued, and my emotions run closer to the surface.  Maybe that's part of that whole introvert thing, too, though.
4. I put too much pressure on myself to succeed everywhere in my life all the time.  I'm not perfect (news flash!), and I need to accept that sometimes, I need to prioritize and that means I'll fail at some things.  That has to be okay, but it's connected to.......
5. I overcommit myself WAY too much.  I've gotten better at this in recent months, in that I hold back before volunteering for new things, but at the same time, I don't know how best to extract myself from the commitments I have made.  Fortunately, I now know that some of them are time-limited, so that's a problem that will start to take care of itself next year.
6. Some of the things I do (like listening to podcasts, even!) I do out of a sense of responsibility that DOESN'T ACTUALLY EXIST.  I'm responsible to the people I've made commitments to, but not to THINGS or ACTIVITIES that only I do.  That said, I do have a commitment to ME, and there are times that I need to put that commitment above all others.
7. I don't spend enough time on relationships....especially those which are most important to me.  

The key, though, is what I do about these things.  (and by the way, I recognize that my focus on 'getting better' is feeding right into point 4 above, but that's the way I am).  Part of my plan has to be to focus on the things that I enjoy most, and maybe stop doing the things I enjoy least. 

That's sometimes easier said than done, especially for someone who thinks that his needs are secondary to the needs of those around him (I get that from my mother, by the way).  As my current commitments expire, I plan to first, transition and let them go, and then after time, exchange the time I recover for time spent doing the things I like.

We'll see how that works out.