Trying a different angle

So it's early October, and I'm back into my usual 'struggle'.  That is, I'm fighting that same 5-10 pounds that I've fought for the past few years.  When I was living overseas, it seemed easier to keep weight off, but that was in large part a fact of my circumstances.  There was more walking and cycling for transportation, and less access to the variety of foods that speak to my cravings. 

There was also less time spent working, which is one of the challenges I face on a regular basis.  My days start early, they run late, and in the evenings, I am engaged with community activities like Boy Scouts, church, and the occasional fun activity.  All that leaves less time for training and exercise than I would like, and probably need.

That said, my real problems is with my diet.  It's not terrible, but it's also not great.  I don't drink enough water (diet soda is my thing), I eat too much sugar, and not enough of things like fruits or vegetables.  Although my wife does cook healthy meals, and has for years, to this day I still don't automatically reach for a piece of fruit when I'm hungry.   There are just too many alternatives that sound and taste better, especially when I'm tired and don't want to deal with things.

So I'm trying some new things once again.  For the last few weeks, I've increased my water intake significantly - "drinking water like it's my job" as one friend put it.  I'm also trying a new motivation.  I've found that when running or swimming, I can convince myself to keep up with a pace until I hit a  landmark.  It doesn't have to be anything big, but just something in the future that I can set my mind on as a finish line, or more properly, a way point.  For when I reach that landmark, I don't stop, but rather just pause, like taking a walk break, or a drink from my water bottle.  Then it's back to it.

I thought maybe this could work for my nutrition plan too.  If I have a preferred regimen, and stick to it, I can give myself that 'way point' in the form of a day where that regimen is relaxed.  It's a type of reward to celebrate a few weeks of successes.  It's risky, I know, because after that one day, it may be harder to restart the next, but I think I can make it work, and it can work with my psychology.

The question was - how many days in what period of time is right?    Also, this is fall, which is one of my toughest seasons, with the holidays of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, each of which was a food event in my house.   I've settled on 5 days over the course of three moths.  This means about 2-3 weeks between 'off days', and a lot of 'on days' if I can pull it off.

Truth be told, I started this a couple of weeks ago, and today was my first 'off day', as I was working today, and succumbed to the group luncheon, including many baked goods.  And candidly, I wasn't happy with myself about it.  I'm not yet sure if this is a good or bad reaction.  It's good in that I do not expect that I will want to repeat this - even as I write this, I'm physically not feeling great, so being 'on' tomorrow won't be hard.  The bad part is that I can't beat myself up over these scheduled 'off days', or the program won't work.

I know a few of my other 'off days'.  Thanksgiving will be one, and Christmas another.  I'm also expecting one at the end of October, just to break the tension, but the last day is not yet scheduled.  I'll probably use that when I need it, but hopefully in a pre-planned manner, rather than an unscheduled 'food fest'. 

I'm also trying some other 'better behaviors', including going to bed earlier to get more sleep, and trying to approach my life from a sense of love and thankfulness, rather than a sense of fear, guilt, and, well, hatred.  I'm not thrilled about the way I look or my fitness level, and I know I can do better, but I believe in the long run, I'll be mentally better off if I do the things I love, rather than the things I should do, or feel I must do.  If being fit is something I really crave, I'll find the time, and I'll prioritize it far more than if it's just something I have to do to lose weight.  Hopefully those mental perspectives will help me both physically and spiritually. 

RAGNAR!

OK.  That title is a bit direct, but I was very excited to run the Ragnar Adirondacks event last week with a couple of friends, and a number of strangers. 

We were 13 people in two vans for two days, alternately running on scenic roads and trying to get some sleep in the seat of a moving vehicle.  In the end, I think I got about 90 minutes of sleep, and I ran 20 miles within 24 hours.  To some, that sounds like a circle of hell, but for me, it was a great way to celebrate running and camaraderie, making new friendships and deepening others.

This really wasn't as much of a race as a celebration of running, and right now, that's what I was looking for.  Something not-so-competitive, but enjoyable, and a common adventure that helped me re-bond with people as well as with the sport I love.  Yes, this was a bit silly for me to do (especially with cat ears and a tutu - don't ask), and yes, perhaps we were all just a bit sleep-deprived in a way that mirrored inebriation.  Heck, that's probably why our team feels so good about the event, and is already thinking of doing another, but as with other events, we need to forget the pain of this one before embarking out again.

It also wasn't all good and glorious.  There was soreness, pain, aggravation, confusion, and a bit of embarrassment (I saw a video of me running.  Ugh.  I am even sorrier for the people who often see me around town, but that's the subject of my next post).  it was, however, meaningful. 

Watching the moon rise on my midnight leg in Cycle 2, turning a corner to see my team far earlier than I had expected (I thought they were parked wrong - turns out I was just faster than I thought), enjoying a nice dinner before hitting a hotel for about 30 minutes of sleep before my phone rang from the other half of the team - these are all memories that are going to stick with me for a while.  Hopefully, they can keep me going during the coming winter months, when running is little other than dark and cold. 

Although it could be, this sport of mine is not for everyone.  Candidly I'm not 100% sure why I still do it, when there are other alternatives.  But I keep coming back and I keep setting my sights higher (more on that in 2 blog posts).  There's so much more that I can do with it, and so much farther that I can push myself, and test my limits.  In that sense, Ragnar wasn't a race, or a run, but a bit of a re-awakening to my own potential and my own enjoyment.