I've been reading a lot of books about leadership lately, and it's interesting that everyone has their list of what makes up a good leader, or a good person, or an effective person, etc. I think I've had my own list in my head, but candidly, it's been the list of characteristics that I lack, and that hold me back, rather than those that are benefits.
Lately, I've been noticing those self-negative thoughts more and more, and recognizing them for what they are. They're not necessarily accurate, and frankly, not really beneficial thoughts that make me want to do and be better. Rather, I think I use some of them as excuses for why I don't achieve as much as I think I should.
I mentioned earlier that I've taken this season of Lent to think about habits, and taking steps to try and recognize and change them. Just the fact that I've thought about my habits has changed my physical behaviors (e.g. eating and drinking), and made me more aware of my actions.
So, too, I'm affecting my mental state. Recognizing those negative thoughts was step 1. In the past few weeks, Step 2 - I've heard those types of thoughts, and quickly tried to reframe them into successes rather than failures. It's not "I didn't do all of the 200 pushups I wanted to do", it's "Hey, I did 150 pushups today". Or changing "my to-do list still has eight things on it" to recognizing that I got a lot done that needed doing, even if they weren't on my morning list.
It's more than just focusing on the positive, though - it's a momentum play. If I constantly beat myself up for what I have not done, that's the image that will be foremost in my brain - all my shortcomings, my failures, my "didn'ts". But if I take note of my successes, they can multiply. In the end, I can't see what I've torn down, but only the product of my building.
And when that final product is me, it matters.
