Today was Friday, and lately, Fridays have been bad days for me at work. Today - today was no exception.
The work was normal, as it seems to be every Friday (maybe a little bit lighter than normal, actually). It's not the actual work, it's the career conversations.
Background: I've been in my role for 4 years and 8 months, in a company where people are expected to move every 2-3 years. I had a chance at the 3 year mark, but my leader persuaded me not to move, as he had something lined up which was a better job, and likely a faster path to promotion. However, nothing ever came of that. After six months, we talked about moving me, and he said he was looking for a role. Same thing six months later. And again.
Not that there has been a lot of movement at my level, but there's been enough to have moved me. In fact, I was seeing people I didn't think were so great moving into jobs that I would have wanted. So I wound up talking to our HR guy, who told me some truth - that I didn't have the sponsorship to make it to the next level, and while my leader thought I was great, no one else did. That discussion turned into a bad weekend.
So I decided to talk to another leader, who had a bit more control over the overall organization. That discussion wasn't much better. He actually indicated that I would need to step backwards for a few years before I could step forward. Another not good weekend thinking about (ok, obsessing) about that.
Earlier this week, I found out about a role that was opening, and it was one that I had told my boss I would like during our earlier discussions. Before I could talk the hiring manager, I found out the role was already filled. I spoke with that hiring manager today, who indicated that he had actually asked for me, and was told that I was not available to take the role.
So I now find myself in a strange predicament. My boss (at least tells me that he) believes I have talent, and should be promoted in my current organization. But his boss doesn't agree, and says I need to move (essentially) backwards first, so he's not going to promote me. And my boss doesn't agree with that assessment, so it appears he's not going to let me go to other promotable roles, either. IT's a bit of a catch-22 situation for me. Typical Friday.
But it's not. I'm not getting overly emotional about it. I'm not obsessing on it (other than writing this post), and I feel somehow liberated. Like I finally understand something about my situation that had not been clear. Don't get me wrong - I feel completely betrayed by my boss, and now understand that I don't think he is totally after my best interests. I'm working on my Monday reaction, which may amount to threatening to leave the company entirely unless someone starts treating me more fairly. But I'm going to be logical about it - more than I have been on prior weekends. In reality, I think I have just spent all of the emotional energy that I had on this topic.
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