We're now a week and a half into Lent, and while I've been taking it a bit more seriously than in the past, I've also had my share of slips and 'thoughtless' actions. Given this year was supposed to be about me being intentional about a number of facets of my life, that means I haven't been the best version of myself that I've tried to be.
But I'm trying.
Case in point (and the cause of some slips last week) was today's race. I ran the New York City Half-Marathon this morning. The past two weeks have been so busy at work and my community involvement, that morning workouts were rare, and night workouts are just harder to arrange and execute. So I went into this race undertrained and undermotivated, and the results were underwhelming.
What bothers me more now (and did last week, too) was that I used this race to justify some 'bad' behavior - poor nutrition, lighter workouts, and advocating some responsibilities that I need not have shed (or ignored). That last bit includes family, with whom I feel i have been spending far too little time lately. Not that they need me around (or want me around, for that matter), but I want to be with them.....they're the reason I do all I do, and if I don't get to share lives with them, then I'm not sure I see the point of the sacrifices I do make.
Week two of Lent begins tomorrow (and Spring starts on Wednesday!) Recognizing my weakness during the past few days, and remembering the strong start to the season, I am recommitting myself to thoughtfulness, presence in the moment, discipline and commitment. If I am to make permanent change, I need to keep renewing those promises to myself.
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