Today was....not my best day. Not my worst either.
To recap - the last few weeks has been refreshing. I took a new job in my company, essentially doing the same thing I was doing, just for a different unit, but my predecessor hasn't left yet. As a result, I went from being the center of knowledge for my unit, to being an observer and absorber of knowledge for the new unit, without a lot of responsibility.
In short, it's been good for me. I was finally able to address a number of lagging issues, completed some education requirements, and started actually sleeping more, and working out more regularly than I have in months. My diet has been under control, thanks to the time and energy to make better decisions, I mentioned last night that I finally feel like I'm back on top of the pile of responsibility that has buried me for longer, and more deeply than I had realized.
Until today. Today I found out that my predecessor is leaving, and soon. Like - tomorrow. So I spent today learning the last of what he had to tell me (although I will have access to him in the future) and getting ready to take over fully on Monday. My reaction, though, was momentarily one of panic. I don't know why - I am totally ready for this, and despite enjoying the past few weeks, I'm ready to be back 'in the game'.
That reaction really surprised me, and about an hour after being told, I felt like I needed a drink, or my equivalent, a sugar boost. That set off a chain reaction that dragged me down today, and I felt just the slightest taste of what being an alcoholic might be like. I actually said to myself that I wanted 'a meeting' as I've heard people say on TV, but candidly, they haven't stated a local chapter of 'cookieholics anonymous' yet.
While I did not go off the deep end (which would involve many many types of dessert-like substances), I also did not deliver the type of day I wanted.
This can either be an aberration, or it could be a renewal of the poor behaviors that have plagued me for the past few years. I'm hoping (and determined) to make it the former. I've been working too hard (and been successful) for the past 30 days to let anything derail me. I've got to take this opportunity to reorient my life and work habits around new directions.
I kicked off a 30 day project about two weeks ago, keeping myself on the straight and narrow. Today I broke 3 of the 6 principles I'm trying to follow. Tomorrow will be a better day.
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