Insights from reflection

The last six weeks have taught me a lot about myself.  Not that anything tragic or disturbing has happened; rather, I've taken the last several weeks to do some introspection (it was Lent, so I was encouraged to do that).

Some insights:

1. I actually do have some introvert characteristics (I'm an extrovert, really).  After being with other people (lots of other people) for 12 days straight, I needed more alone time than I usually get.  I took that time this month, and it was just the 'decompression' that I needed.
2. Starting projects on the first of the month often leads to, well, failure.  The nature of my job requires me to be at my best at work during day 4-10 of each month, so starting new projects on the 1st of the month doesn't lead to lasting change.  I will change, and start new projects on the 15th, to give new habits time to form.
3. Sleep is more important than I give it credit for.  I make worse decisions (not bad, just less good) when I am tired and / or fatigued, and my emotions run closer to the surface.  Maybe that's part of that whole introvert thing, too, though.
4. I put too much pressure on myself to succeed everywhere in my life all the time.  I'm not perfect (news flash!), and I need to accept that sometimes, I need to prioritize and that means I'll fail at some things.  That has to be okay, but it's connected to.......
5. I overcommit myself WAY too much.  I've gotten better at this in recent months, in that I hold back before volunteering for new things, but at the same time, I don't know how best to extract myself from the commitments I have made.  Fortunately, I now know that some of them are time-limited, so that's a problem that will start to take care of itself next year.
6. Some of the things I do (like listening to podcasts, even!) I do out of a sense of responsibility that DOESN'T ACTUALLY EXIST.  I'm responsible to the people I've made commitments to, but not to THINGS or ACTIVITIES that only I do.  That said, I do have a commitment to ME, and there are times that I need to put that commitment above all others.
7. I don't spend enough time on relationships....especially those which are most important to me.  

The key, though, is what I do about these things.  (and by the way, I recognize that my focus on 'getting better' is feeding right into point 4 above, but that's the way I am).  Part of my plan has to be to focus on the things that I enjoy most, and maybe stop doing the things I enjoy least. 

That's sometimes easier said than done, especially for someone who thinks that his needs are secondary to the needs of those around him (I get that from my mother, by the way).  As my current commitments expire, I plan to first, transition and let them go, and then after time, exchange the time I recover for time spent doing the things I like.

We'll see how that works out.